Home Tools and Applications Coaching Questions The 3×3 Approach to Win-Win Conversations

The 3×3 Approach to Win-Win Conversations

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Finally, SUMMARIZE. This step is so important and often missed. It ensures the two of you are on the same page and will take steps toward the solution. It should be done at the end of the conversation but ALSO, send an email or text so you have it in writing and as a reminder. Here are some examples for both scenarios.


Thank you for meeting this morning. It was helpful to hear what I can do to earn the promotion. I have outlined specific steps we talked about below. I too, hope this frees up some of your time and helps clients build more trust with me. When can we revisit to see how I have applied the feedback?


I enjoyed our talk last night. I am sorry you are struggling with making new friends. I agree it’s hard to fit in as a freshman at a new school. I think that the idea you had to meet a couple of your soccer teammates for lunch after the game on Sat sounds great. I will provide the rides. I hope you know you can always talk to me.

 This method is simple but remembering to use it in the moment can be difficult. Unfortunately, conversations don’t always happen when we expect them to. When this happens, we can get flustered and let our emotions get in the way. Don’t get discouraged. Visit this method afterward, and reflect on what you did well and how you can improve next time. Eventually, a blend of your own style with this approach will become habit. Over time, you’ll see yourself making small changes and getting better results.

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