Well, all couples have their problems, right? What I was thinking at that point is that perhaps they could benefit from some personal negotiation and perhaps even some couples counseling.
But then he said something that struck my attention. He was talking about what he liked to do at home when we had some free time. He spoke about the pleasure that was for him playing the guitar and singing sometimes. Then he said, “This is of course, when she is not at home.” Then I said -what? Can you repeat that? He looked at me with a disconcerted expression on his face, probably caused by my own disconcerted expression. He could not see anything special in what he was saying. This is the dialogue we had:
-Edward, when do you play the guitar?
-When she is not at home.
-Why only then?
-Because Mary does not like noise in the home!
-What? Your guitar playing is just noise for her and, because of that you are not allowed to play the guitar in your own home?
Then he looked at me with astonishment.
Yes… but, is this not normal?
Well… it may be normal to you… but if you ask for my opinion, I would have to say that it is not normal at all. Then he kept quiet and looked reflexive. It felt like a sensitive chord had been stroked. I went on.
-Is it really normal to you? Does that feel right?
– Well, no. Not really.
-Why do you take that?
-Because I don’t want to have conflict. I thought that by being nice to her, everything would be all right between us.
-Except that you are not happy, and now you are waiting for her to leave to enjoy your home as you like; the home that took for you years of hard work to build. Is that really all right for you?
He did not answer. He didn’t have to. We stayed quiet for a while and then he did what he came to do with me. He dug a tomb, to spend the night “consulting with Mother Earth” about the issues of his life.
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