All of these Autumnals feel alive and vital. Erik Erikson would suggest that they have become “generative” and have forged new identities in their lives. . . . .This generativity might have curative power—in part because the voices from other rooms tend to reduce our own self-resentment (our anger and hatred) about sacrifices we made earlier in our life. We find peace in our reconciliation of old dreams and new initiatives. We make healing choices when we listen once again to these voices from other rooms—for we were not naïve or too idealistic when we were young. Wisdom and self-understanding were embedded in these early adulthood dreams. This wisdom and self-understanding of Spring is still available to us during our Autumnal years.
Alternatively, we can set aside or close the doors to the rooms from which these voices emanate—choosing instead a psyche filled with temptation, war, disappointment and, ultimately, self-defeat. . . . Our four Autumnals could chose to ignore or discount these voices from other rooms. The accountant could have politely turned down the offer to play at the Rock and Roll party. Samuel could even have neglected to tell his colleague that he played drums as a teenager. Jane could continue to work hard as a medical professional. She would find little time for exercise or her granddaughter’s soccer team.
Maria could have waited for her next international posting, so that she could enjoy leading the global business—a powerful temptation. Our would-be chef, Ricardo, could curse the bad fortune that pushed him into the role of homemaker for his excessively ambitious wife. He could have been envious of his wife and could have decided to get even with his wife by cooking a horrible meal or inadvertently forgetting to pick up food at the local supermarket. Each of these women and men of Autumn could have chosen a life of stagnation rather than generativity. This is the choice that we all must make during the Autumnal decades of life. This is the choice that enables us to heal and proceed successfully on our soulful journey.
The Demonic Voices of Denial and the Childlike Voices of Care
If mature women and men chose stagnation by not attending to these voices, then these voices can become quite destructive—even demonic. They can lead to [a] hopeless, confused and warring state . . . . These demonic voices are part of us. They don’t easily go away if we fail to attend to them. We know from many years of psychological investigation that when we consistently give little or no attention to specific aspects of our psyche, these aspects of self tend to express themselves indirectly. They express themselves through physical and mental illness; profound depression; or self-destructive activities such as substance abuse, self-defeating behaviour on the job, or suicide.
Geraldine initially sought treatment for her drinking (which was daily) but Geraldine did not have withdrawal when she did not drink. She looked for a drink to feel better. She dedicated her life to be a devoted wife and Mother, giving up her professional music career but her husband grew colder as the years go by and her children were getting older, with their own accomplishments and lives. She was encouraged by her therapist to go for couple therapy with her husband, but her husband dropped out of couple therapy and she too eventually dropped out of treatment. She continued to drink. A few years later, she went back to her therapist, when she caught her husband having an affair.
Download Article 1K Club
