The Dynamics of Cheating and Purposeful Lying
What happens when someone faces the “fact” that they have cheated and lied about their cheating. What is stirred up when there is recognition that one’s life is filled with lies? Crucially, a state of cognitive dissonance is often created–unless the cheater and liar is completely without any sense of values or personal integrity [this lack of an “super-ego” functioning may be classified as a serious mental health issue (sociopathy/psychopathy). It might even be associated with a lack of mirror neurons.}
The dissonance resides in the disparity between the act of cheating and lying on the one hand, and a sense of self, on the other hand, as a thoughtful, caring, mature, responsible human being. What is to be done for this state of dissonance to be resolved. One answer is to readjust one’s perception of self: “Yes, I am a flawed human being.” If this option is chosen then the result might very well be depression, substance abuse and even self-inflicted wounds. The other answer is to do something about the cheating and lying behavior by addressing the underlying purpose. One can justify the cheating and lying (thereby making it “not such a bad thing to do”). One can do something that might seem “bad” but is in behalf of a “greater good.” Or one can cheat and lie in “payment” (reparations) for the cheating and lying of another person or organization.
Justification
With two sides of one’s perception on self being at peril, one of the solutions is to consider the cheating to be appropriate and “justified.” The purpose makes it “OK.” The underlying and guiding purpose makes the subsequent behavior acceptable. We might have cheated because someone else has already cheated on us or done us physical or psychological harm. We “return the favor” by cheating on them. This justification can be framed as Frontier justice: “I am just getting even with them!” or “I have every right to pay them back!” This is the Revenge Factor. We see it played out in virtually every Western movie and in numerous Soap Operas.
The justification might also be presented as a more high-minded form of legalist “balancing of the books” The matter is closed only when both parties have received their due “reward” and “punishment.” If one side has only been the victim and the side only the perpetrator, then a judicial tension exists that ultimately leaves neither party satisfied. One party is left with the damage and anger associated with the damage, while the party is left with the guilt.
There is a scene in The Lincoln Highway, by Amos Towles, where one of the main characters who has done wrong (cheated) to another character goes up to them and asks them to punch him in the face. The victimized character does not even know that the person asking to be punched was the perpetrator. The books are being balanced in the oppositive direction. A punch in the face will help reduce cognitive dissonance for the perpetrator. They will feel less guilty. This is the Rectification Factor.
Download Article 1K Club