There is again the matter of side-effects. How much energy does it take for the victim to collude in preserving the lie? Does the victim lie about the lie when relating to other people or is another set of lies required to cover over the cheater’s lies? What is the victim sacrificing in terms of attention on behalf of the cheat? How big of an impact is the cheating having on the victim’s own performance in and attitudes about the system in which both they and the cheater dwell (whether this be a family, organization or community). It seems that cheating is contagious in not only its spread, but also in its infection of the victim as well as the cheater.
Costs heap upon costs. Cheating is indeed harmful! Lies are never innocent or free of cost! In our recognition of these “truths” there is the possibility of change. Without this recognition there is likely to be denial or at the least complacency.
What Kinds of People Lie and Cheat?
Everyone cheats! All of us do! We all lie on purpose! Whether it is defrauding thousands of people out of their lifesavings in a Ponzi scheme or if it is a simple (and possibly helpful) event telling your spouse or partner that they “look great” in those new jeans, all of us tell mistruths or cheat at some level in our lives. Likely more often than most of us are willing to admit. As the country song goes: “there is cheating on our mind” — and there is “lying in our heart!”
Research shows that most of us want to be – and believe we are – honest and moral (Ayal, Gino, Barkan, and Ariely, 2015). We work very hard at trying to maintain a positive self-image. The problem we have as humans is that we are very good at justifying our behaviors (Ego-defense). For example, we may justify cheating on our taxes because we believe that our tax system is unfair and rich people pay little or no taxes by finding loopholes, so why should we be compromised! Or we may justify driving above the legal speed limit because we are late for an important meeting and there’s no one around to see us break the law. In extreme contexts, people may even justify murder given religious or extremist viewpoints. So, we humans are capable of justifying almost any kind of unethical behavior and then figure out a way to maintain our positive self-image.
Susceptibility
While all of us are susceptible to being unethical in one form or another, research shows that certain personalities are more likely to cheat or be dishonest than others. Williams et al (2010) describe the following:
Download Article 1K ClubStudents who cheat in high school and college are highly likely to fit the profile for subclinical psychopathy – a personality disorder defined by erratic lifestyle, manipulation, callousness and antisocial tendencies, according to research published by the American Psychological Association. These problematic students cheat because they feel entitled and disregard morality, the study found.
