In addition to paying attention to your language, pay attention to what tends to frustrate you about other people. Then begin to notice how that mirrors or reflects a similar pattern somewhere in your life.
This can be tricky to notice yourself, so you may want to ask your coach, friend or colleague to help you locate the similarity in your business or personal life.
An example from my business: in a short period of time, I had three people want to hire me. Yet, one told me several times she was going to look at her finances over the weekend and get back to me to get started. Another told me she’d be ready to start in two weeks and three days later told me she was too overwhelmed to start. A third told me twice that she needed time to work on her own and wanted to start in two months.
Exasperated, I turned to my business coach. He asked me where in my business or life was I making and breaking commitments. I didn’t need to look far. I did not have this book written by the deadline to which I committed and I hadn’t set a new deadline. I wasn’t even writing daily!
I had my ‘reasons.’ And, it was pretty funny how those excuses sounded a lot like the ones given to me by the people who wanted to work with me. I wasn’t finishing the book because I needed to focus on bringing in new clients and money. I felt overwhelmed bringing in clients and writing, so I chose to focus only on bringing in clients.
I had made up a story that I couldn’t do both because I felt overwhelmed. Truth be told, the feeling of overwhelm came from acting like a victim and not keeping my commitments. So, I contin- ued to talk with new potential clients and got back to writing daily. The feeling of overwhelm vanished even though I was busier!
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