One place in a roadway, for instance, might be slightly more indented than any other spot. Water and gravel tend to collect in this spot. The water and gravel, in turn, dig into the spot, propelled by passing cars. The spot becomes a small hole. This hole grows larger, attracting more water and gravel. Soon there is a pothole. The pothole gets filled in, but the newly applied asphalt differs in composition or weight from the old asphalt. Furthermore, there is a tiny crack between the old and new asphalt. These conditions lead to the creation of a new spot and the reemergence of the pothole–now “bigger and better” than before and more resistant to any corrective action.
This same process occurs in our own lives. Seemingly random events occur that hold no pattern. Then one event somehow touches upon old, faint voices in our back rooms that are now slightly louder or less often drowned-out by noise. As a result, we pay a little more attention to this event than we did in the past. Samuel, the “rock and roll” accountant, often had offers in the past to perform at parties and many of these offers were no doubt connected to something in which he was interested. Yet, somehow, this latest offer is particularly poignant since it triggers Samuel’s memories and his rediscovered interest in rock and roll.
Dr. Jane, the basketball playing physician, has always lived near a recreation center that sponsored basketball leagues for older adults. And she has always known, as a physician, that she should periodically leave her office to seek more exercise and recreation. Yet somehow the time is now ripe for Jane to take action. The wife of Ricardo, our would-be shopper and chef, has undoubtedly asked him to help in many other ways in the past, when her own work began to shift. Yet, this offer, somehow, to do more shopping and cooking connected with Ricardo’s recent retirement and his dormant love of shopping and cooking. It also aroused Ricardo’s vague recollection of one particular advertisement and article about a nearby Saturday market, and that motivated him to contract the manager about hosting a cooking class for men.
All of this can occur in our life without any outside guidance or support. Strange attractors simply emerge without any outside help—they are self-initiated (autotelic) and self-organizing. However, an experienced and insightful coach can often point out the emerging pattern before their client gets a clear sense of what is taking place. The voice from another room might be easier for the coach to hear because they don’t have the barriers that were constructed many years ago by their client. As in a theatrical production, the words may strike home first when spoken by an outside source (an actor) than when spoken by oneself to ones own psyche.
Crossroads: Choosing Once Again Between Generativity and Stagnation
Random events become strange attractors. They call to us and require our attention. They form an alliance with our inner voices. Suddenly other events begin to organize around this attractor and form a constellation or psychic “pothole” of activities, interests and dreams. Samuel, the accountant, plays at the Rock, Roll and Remembrance party and has a great time. He talks with the four other “aging rockers” in this make-shift group. They decide to play together every Wednesday night “just for fun” and in a manner that honors the long history of rock-and-roll (Generativity Three).
Dr. Jane joins the “old girls” basketball league, enjoys herself, and soon finds that she also enjoys playing “old girls” soccer; this motivates her to organize a new soccer league (Generativity Four). She begins to teach her granddaughter how to play soccer (Generativity One) and becomes a coach for her granddaughter’s soccer team (Generativity Two). Chef Ricardo begins cooking more often, loves it, and becomes a voracious reader of cookbooks. He hosts a cooking class, and then volunteers to teach a special class for old guys who want to help their wives (Generativity Two and Four). All three of these mid-centurions feel alive and vital. Erik Erikson would suggest that they have become “generative” and have forged new identities in their lives. They have become the women and men of Autumn.
