Cheating: The Act of Purposeful Lying

Coaching and Consulting with a Cheater and Purposeful Liar

Is there something specific we need to know and something specific we need to do if coaching someone who has disclosed that they have cheated in some way. As professional coaches we are guided (as is the case of all human service professions) by a code of ethics. This code includes an implicit (if not explicit) commitment to reduce harm (and to help “heal” the harm that has been done). We are faced with a critical decision when confronted with cheating among clients with whom we are working or potentially could be working. We can step away from this coaching engagement and accept the fact (or at least prospect) that harm might continue to be wrought by the cheater. Alternatively, we can seek to reduce the harm being done by working with the cheating client to bring an end to this destructive behavior.

What Kind of Coaching to Do

First, we need to assign this type of coaching to a specific category. One of us (WB) has prepared a taxonomy on coaching strategies with a colleague (Agnes Mura). Coaching a cheater would be assigned to a category we identified as “Ethics Coaching.” This category includes the important (but rarely engaged or at least rarely acknowledged) work with a client who is making an important decision regarding several competing priorities that are embedded in potentially conflicting value systems.

This category also includes the kind of thoughtful proactive coaching that is engaged with a client who is seeking to identify their personal “code of conduct” or, more generally, is engaged in life planning. We assist them in gaining some clarity regarding what is most important in their life and what they are willing to sacrifice on behalf of these highest priorities. John Lazar joined with one of us (WB) in preparing an essay on the nature and purpose of what at the time was called “Alignment Coaching.”

Coaching that focuses on cheating fits in this category but is a quite different species! It concerns unethical behavior that has already occurred, rather than being a proactive process that can assist our client in making the right choice when confronted with multiple pathways. When coaching the cheater, we are acting more like a priest who is taking a confession than we are acting like a modern day, secular provider of guidance to a decision maker. Many emotions are inevitably interwoven with the coaching of cheaters and our own ethical considerations must be taken into account when agreeing to and operating in this challenging coaching engagement.

Given that cheating is widespread (if not universal) and that a very challenging form of coaching is required to address the issues embedded in cheating, we wish to offer some of our own thoughts about how to coach the cheater.