conflict vibes. It could be the same situation or another. The next topic
in this chapter, Acting on Simmering Signs, develops these concepts
in a different way.
QUESTIONS
• To start with, how do you describe the vibes you sense that
the other person is putting out, that is, her or his actions,
attitude, and so on?
• How are you experiencing the vibes?
• What does your intuition tell you about the reason(s) the
other person is putting out these vibes (your answer to
the first question)? Why that reason or those reasons?
• What do you trust about your instincts here? What do you
not trust about your instincts, if that is the case?
• In what ways may you have contributed to the other
person’s putting out vibes toward you (things you might
not have already considered in your previous answers)?
• What is keeping you from checking out—with the other
person—the vibes you are experiencing? What conflictmasterful
approach might work if you decide to do this?
If you prefer not to, why is that so?
• How do you describe the sorts of vibes you are putting out
in this interaction (or another interaction, if you do not
think you are doing so in this one)? How might the other
person describe your vibes in the conflict you have in
mind? How might she or he be experiencing them?
• For what reasons are you putting out those vibes? What,
specifically, do you think you are conveying through your
actions, words, demeanor, and so on that the other person
is likely picking up?
• What is keeping you from more directly expressing to the
other person what is bothering you? What might be keeping
the other person from asking you?
• What would you like to have happen between you and the
other person in the interaction in which you are putting out
vibes? What might you say or do to achieve that outcome?
• What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
• What insights do you have?
